Notice how some people can instantly create trust with whomever they talk to?  Even if you just met them, you find yourself telling them all kinds of secrets and revealing stuff that you don’t usually discuss.  How come?  How did they do it?  What’s going on?

Well a very big factor of building trust instantly is authenticity or being real.  Being real sounds easier said than done.  It means being comfortable with your flaws and casually talking about them not on purpose but not hiding them either.

Usually when one starts talking they try to impress and they try to hide all the little dark embaressing secrets.  However those are what makes him/her real.  If you are open around other people, comfortable with admiting your flaws and shortcomings you will creat instant trust.  You’ll be shocked at how open they will be with you, and all the secrets they’ll tell you.

Often we go through life in a very selfish state where all we want to do is take, take, take.  Kind of like that game “the hungry hippos”.  I had this thought the other day and questioned myself “would making more money, taking care of my health, or pursuing any other goal I had be worth while if I lived by myself on an island away from any other human being?”

While it’s hard to imagine, when I really got into it, I realized that NO, no goals are woth pursuing if I had no one to share my life with whether it’s a friend or a lover.  That’s when I kind of realized that giving back to others is almost like an inate need we often supress.  Giving back to others is the only way I know of to make friends however we often neglect it and just get stuck in our selfish thoughts.  What’s one way you can give back to someone today?

Most people naturally fit into one of two catagories either book-smart or street-smart.  The street-smart bunch are often very people-smart – in other words they can connect with people instantly, have lots of friends, finds tons of opportunities through social networking etc.

I myself was always book-smart growing up.  I could learn anything on my own, through research and reading.  However interacting with others always made me a little nervous.  Social situations where I had to introduce myself to new people always left me stressed out.

I would meet many street-smart or socially intelligent people.  I would notice that they have super slick social skills yet their life isn’t going anywhere.  Often they lazy and just tried to use others for their own benefit.  Additionally they had a tough time getting organized or showing up on time.  So while I envied their social skills, I often didn’t envy the rest of their lifestyle.

After learning more about success and life in general I had an important realization.  I realized that success usually requires both, being book-smart and people-smart.  Since I had the book-smarts down, I started working on my people skills, and my social skills.

At first this was very uncomfortable.  For example I signed up for an “improv comedy” class and had to perform on stage in front of others which made me extremely nervous.  However as I started getting better social skills something pretty interesting happened.

I found that through my social network, I was getting a lot more opportunities for succes in life.  And since I had the book-smarts to back it up, success started becoming easier and easier whether it was in increasing my income, building more satisfying relationships or have a more fun lifestyle in general.