1. Fear will stop you from achieving your dreams.

   I’m sure you have many dreams and aspirations. Maybe one of your dreams is to travel the world, start your own business or find the love of your life. These are a few of my dreams. As I have been working on making these dreams a reality, I’ve realized that one of the biggest roadblocks is fear. To find the love of my life, or in other words meet a great woman I have had to face one of my biggest fears. The first step to meeting a great woman (or mate) is becoming social and meeting lots and lots of people. As I started doing this, I had to deal with my fear of rejection over and over again. I realized that what stops most men from meeting a great woman is fear of rejection. I still remember when how my heart would beat faster and my mouth would stutter when I would go out and initiate conversation with strangers. This is a great example of the physical results of fear that I would push through. It certainly wasn’t easy. However it paid off. I did end up building a great social circle with many great friends. I also did end up meeting a couple of very spectacular women along the way. If I didn’t push through my fear of rejection, I would have never improved my social skills.

2. Fear always leads to mediocrity.

   Becoming great in any field or endeavor usually requires conquering some fear. However if your goal is to just be average or mediocre then you can skip reading this. Still here? One factor that separates the good (average or slightly above) from the great, is the willingness to push through fear. You should be smart about pushing through fear. You should evaluate the fear logically looking at two factors. The first factor is the reality of the fear, is there real danger? With my fear of rejection there wasn’t any. If I approached a new person, initiated a conversation, received a bad reaction, I would still be physically fine. Yes I might feel bad for a few seconds, my pride and ego might get a kick. However I always reminded myself that I’m trying to learn a skill. Additionally it would be foolish to give importance to strangers reactions since they don’t know me that well. As I’ve started pushing through most of my fears I learned that fear is mostly in my head and there is rarely ever any real danger. If there is a physical risk or a real danger, then you need to evaluate the second factor.

   The second factor is comparing the potential payoff (or gain from taking the risk) with the possibility of the a real danger happening. When I went skydiving I realized that it can be physically dangerous. However after looking at some statistics I quickly learned that skydiving is safer than driving. It also seemed that our potential skydiving center was safe and very organized. Additionally considering the payoff of the experience and how amazing it would feel, I decide to join my friend in doing it. It was a surreal experience, and now I recommend that anyone try a tandem sky dive at least once. This is where an instructor is tied to your back during the jump, pulls the parachute for you and gives you landing instructions.

3. Fear will limit your happiness.

   Living in your comfort zone usually turns your life into a boring everyday routine. You are generally taking the same comfy actions and therefore can predict their results. However if you start getting out of your comfort zone and facing some of your fears you can eventually create a rock star lifestyle. I’m not speaking of all the lavage aspects, instead the unpredictability, excitement, and fun. You just have to try getting out of your comfort zone to really see the big payoffs. A quick way to do it is to initiate conversation with a stranger. A simple “Hey, how are you” or a giving a compliment is an easy way to do this. Who knows you might even make a new friend.

4. Fear will cover up your creativity.

   Creativity is risky and uncomfortable. Often people try to work on their creativity, and while it is a great skill to develop, it is risky. The unwillingness to take risks and regularly get out of your comfort zone will inhibit your natural creativity. Your natural creativity is when you have a great idea or think outside the box. You can start strengthening your natural creativity by following the little voice in your head that tells you to do something in a different way. Once you notice that your natural creativity is developing and no longer inhibited, then you can take different workshops that will increase your creativity. Performance art workshops (improv comedy, acting, singing, playing a musical instrument) usually build your creativity.

5. Fear will cover up your uniqueness.

   When we are born we are all naturally unique in certain ways. This is very easy to spot if you observe a young kid. Young kids are very uninhibited and they let their uniqueness shine. We all are naturally unique. Your uniqueness comes from that little voice inside of your head that suggests you try this or that unique thing. Taking unique actions tend to attract a lot of attention especially in public. Additionally it tends to draw more judgments from others. This is why conformity is very easy and safe. However there are many rewards to being unique including a happier self, a more fulfilling lifestyle and an easier time figuring out your purpose. I think the reason a lot of people can’t find their purpose is because they have always conformed. Uniqueness is simply acting in line with your personal values and preferences.

Lack of fear does not equal stupidity. There are of course good reasons why we feel fear. Fear is a protection mechanism to help us survive. For example it’s great that you might feel a bit of fear crossing a busy intersection. This fear keeps your senses alert. What I’m recommending is taking calculated risks.

It’s so easy to get sucked into the mainstream lifestyle. It’s almost natural for us to look around at what everyone else is doing and like sheep follow the rest of the herd. What’s interesting is that the American mainstream lifestyle isn’t very optimistic…

To continue reading, check out this guest blog post I wrote for PersonalDevelopment.ie

“Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.” – Helen Keller

Helen Keller was def & blind for most of her life yet lived a rich, exciting, meaningful life. She frequently traveled to different countries, offered so much to the community and never let her disabilities limit her potential.

Security isn’t a law of nature, it usually isn’t even the norm, there are no guarantees in life. Security is something we created and choose to believe to mentally cope with danger. Security allows us to live our lives in a predictable pattern. This predictability tricks us into thinking that as long as we are doing the same things, we know what will come next, and will be ready for it. This is a false belief. At any moment, one’s life can be turned upside down breaking one’s daily pattern, and shattering one’s false sense of security. At any moment the phone could ring with some real bad news. At any moment one can lose their job, get fired or laid of. At any moment one might be involved in a life threatening driving accident that’s not even their fault. There is nothing one can do to avoid danger.

This idea might sound very sad and negative. However it’s really great news. Think about it, if life is always safe, predictable, what would be the point? We would always know what happens next, we would never even have any good stories to tell. If people don’t experience tragedies, and awkward situations, what would be left to talk about, get excited over, or seek help for. There would be no motivation to do anything great even, everyone would just do enough to get by. There would be no need for self improvement or growth.

You must be very careful not to let fear stop you or limit you. Unpredictability is a part of life, so as long as your choosing to wake up everyday and get out of bed, you must accept life for what it is, an unpredictable playground. Accepting that life is dangerous and unpredictable allows you to take more calculated risks. It frees you from a lot of your limitations that are based on fear. It’s also a motivation to take more smaller risks and make your life more exciting. Most of the everyday risks aren’t only small but have trivial worst case consequences. However the rewards and learning that results from those risks can be very rewarding and enriching to ones life experience.

You must also start accepting life for what it is, and enjoying the present moment, because in reality it could be all you have left. There is no guarantee that anyone will live to be 70 or 80 or 90 years old. This is freeing because it means you can and should start enjoying life now. Don’t put off that international trip you have been wanting to take. Don’t put off that beach vacation you’ve been delaying. Don’t put off that fun class you have been wanting to sign up for. Start enjoying life and having fun today. You should by all means have and work on your goals, building a brighter future. However at the same time you must accept the present for what it is, and enjoy it. A healthy balance between enjoying the present and also working on a better future is a must because life is a journey not a destination.

Stop shying away and trying to live in your imaginary box of safety. It’s boring, it’s not real, and even if you don’t take risks, unpredictable danger might still find you. Shatter that box of predictability and security, replacing it with a new box. A box of total acceptance and appreciation for how far you’ve come and how much progress you made in life.