Are you an honest blogger? I have a confession to make, I’m not. Since I started this blog (6 months ago) I’ve blogged only under my first name. Why? Fear. Fear of what? That’s a good question. In America (where I currently reside) we have the freedom of speech yeh right. While by law we have the freedom of speech, there are so many social constraints that the term freedom of speech almost sounds like a joke to most people.

If you have freedom of speech then how can you get fired for blogging? Why do so many blogs sound the same, hashing the same old techniques, advice, guidelines and theories? You mean to tell me that everyone thinks the same way? Are bloggers writing honestly and genuinely? Or are they copying each other? Are bloggers honestly writing, or are they trying to keep it safe censoring and watering-down their thoughts?

As a blogger it’s very tempting to re-hash ideas, re-write lists, and share tips that are widely spread over the internet through my blog. Don’t believe me? Here are common tips found on most personal development blogs:

1. Have clear goals
2. Have clear personal values
3. Think Long Term instead of settling for Short Term gratification
4. Have an abundance mentality
5. Manage your time wisely
6. Discover and follow your life’s purpose
7. Abide by the Law of attraction
8. Stop caring about what others think of you

Is there anything wrong with these tips? No, they are all great. I have used many of them on this blog myself The big deal is honesty. While I’m sure many personal development bloggers care about these kinda of tips, they probably have a bag of their own original advice and tips that they are hiding. Many of those tips might not be mainstream or socially acceptable.

Here is a quick tip, personal development is really tough. It’s a great subject, a passion of mine, but let’s admit it’s not EASY. Not Caring what everyone thinks for example…Do you really understand what that means? What it entails? The possible consequences?

Not caring about what others think is something I’ve been working on for a couple of years now. And I still can’t say I’m great at it. Sure I’ve made progress, however it’s more like that of a turtle This is why I decided to start blogging under my real name. I figured I’d be a hypocrite not to. I started feeling like I’m developing too many different identities and it was starting to become a headache.

There is me the personal development blogging guy. Then there is me at my job as serious worker guy. Then there is me out with my friends, going crazy off the walls at times Then there is my around my parents who I really admire and respect yet tend to disagree with often. While I do believe in respecting different roles because life is a stage I’m also trying to be more authentic. And being more authentic means decreasing the gap between my different identities. There is no easy way to do this, it’s just a balance. For example at my job I’m being paid to perform certain tasks, and I respect that. However that doesn’t mean that I should suppress my own creativity and just become a zombie.

Back to the real question, are you an honest blogger? While working on that myself I realized it comes with the following risks:

• Receiving criticism from others including family, friends, co-workers for honestly stating your views and opinions.
• Being wrong. Let’s face it, a blogger isn’t perfect, and makes mistakes. However it’s one thing to say something wrong, and another to write it down for everyone to see.
• Getting Kicked in your Ego. Whether it’s rude comments, meaningful helpful criticism, if you are an honest blogger who tells it like it is you will get a kicked in your ego

What are the advantages of Honest Blogging? Why did I decide to blog under my real name? While my mind came up with all kinds of great reasons not to use my real name, I realized that all of those reasons are a result of fears and insecurities. Blogging under my real name wouldn’t really harm my physical well-being in any way, unless I start posting death threats muahahahaha.

Another advantage of honest blogging is authenticity. Being more authentic is a very important factor for creating original unique content. One of the biggest inhibitors of creativity in writing is fear of exposing your real self. No one wants to be criticized. While we know on one level it’s good for us, we usually try to avoid it. We try not to make too much noise, not to get too much attention. It’s always easier to stay in our little dinky winky comfort zone of doom And people alway ask how they can work on their creativity? Well here is the biggest inhibitor of creativity: FEAR. Be authentic, expose your true self, and your creativity will start flowing like a river.

Noticed I have some free space in my sidebar. If you are a regular reader of this blog, and maintain your own personal development blog, leave a comment with your blog’s URL. Comment must be left by May 20, 2008. I will select up to 10 blogs to link to from my sidebar. Links to these 10 blogs will appear on the sidebar of every page in my blog for at least 1 month.

In the case there are more than 10 submissions, I will select the blogs with the best original content that offer the most value.

I have updated the About section.

After reading Steve Pavlina’s article how to be a man I was intrigued by his challenge of writing a “how to be a woman” article. Being a single guy, I though I can provide an entertaining opinion of how to be an attractive woman. I can share some of the qualities I find most attractive about women that other men might relate to. I also hope that for women reading this article they will get some insight on what men really value in women.

Our society likes to focus on a woman’s external superficial beauty. A woman’s external beauty however only attracts a man’s superficial attention. Yes men will turn their heads the next time a beautiful woman passes by. However that’s not real attraction. It’s superficial attraction, the same kind an entertainer, a magician or a stand up comedian would get.

A man only becomes genuinely attracted to a woman after getting to know her. There are certain traits about a woman that men appreciate and value.

Present Mindedness

Women tend to be more present minded than men. They can easily enjoy the present moment without worrying about what happened yesterday or what will happen tomorrow. To a man this is a very attractive quality. When a man is worried or stressed out, being with a woman who is enjoying the moment can quickly snap him out of his head, and allow him to have a good time.

Flexibility

Women are very flexible. A woman is always willing to try new things. Whether it’s taking a new class, learning a new skill, visiting a new venue, a woman is usually excited about the opportunity. This is a very attractive quality to a man. Being with a flexible woman, helps a man expand his life experience encouraging him to get out of his comfort zone and try new things.

Emotional Freedom

Women tend to feel more than think or analyze. This is why women tend to be very intuitive. When a woman meets a new person, using body language and facial expressions, she can quickly get a feel for that person. Usually a woman’s intuition, especially in social situations, tends to be very accurate. Being with a woman can help a man think less and feel more especially in situation where thinking or analyzing isn’t necessary. This can be a very relaxing experience for a man.

Randomness

Women tend to be more random than men. This is easily noticeable when two women are having a conversation and jump from one topic to the next. Men on the other hand tend to focus on the same topic, analyzing and exploring the issue at hand. While this is useful, sometimes men just need to relax and have a good time instead of always trying to get their point across. Sometimes it’s fun to talk just for the sake of talking. This is why for a man interacting with a woman who thinks a bit more randomly can be a very fun experience.

Selflessness

Women tend to put others first. This is a very attractive quality to a man. Sometimes a man gets caught in his ego and pride. In the short term there is nothing wrong with this. However in the long term this can create a selfish man. This is why it’s very refreshing for a man to be around a woman who is compassionate and cares about others needs.

Open Mindedness

Women tend to be very open minded. Women tend to accept different people and different situation without making a lot of judgments. This became apparent to me when I moved to America at a young age. Being the weird foreign guy in my school, I remember sometimes guys would pick on me, where as most girls found me interesting and wanted to learn more about my background.

Sympathy

Women can easily relate to others. A woman can easily feel the emotional state of a friend. This is a great quality which helps women understand and sympathize with others. This is a very attractive quality in women. For a man who’s going through a tough situation, feeling understood by a female friend can be a very therapeutic experience.

I hope you found this post valuable. This isn’t a topic that I’d normally discuss on my own, which is why I was excited to take on the challenge of writing this post. If you have any feedback, additions or input, you are welcome to leave a comment.

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