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I’ve found that emotional eating is the most common cause of weight gain.  Here is a great resource for emotional eating.  I highly recommend you check it out even if you don’t think you’re an emotional eater yet wonder why you haven’t been able to lose weight.

Coming home from a long day at work. Feeling tired and stressed out. You were planning to finish a couple of chores, yet you have had a long day. You aren’t really hungry however you feel a craving for a certain snack. You know you shouldn’t eat it since you are trying to implement healthier eating habits. However your mind rationalizes that you deserve it, besides it’s just one snack right? how bad could it really be? So you find yourself reaching for the snack and consuming it. Afterwards you find yourself feeling a bit lazy, and instead of doing your chores you decide to just relax, watch some tv or surf the web. You rationalize that you have had a tough past couple of days and deserve a break.

Emotional Eating Defined

Emotional eating is motivated by emotions instead of real hunger. For me, usually negative emotions including fear, anger, stress, or disappointment have triggered emotional eating. Sometimes emotional eating is triggered in anticipation of a future event that you perceive will be tough, stressful or scary. Emotional eating is where the phrase comfort food stems from. Comfort foods might differ from one person to the next, but they are those foods and snacks that you tend to reach for to deal with stress or to reward yourself. Some common comfort food include ice-cream, cookies, fried food, pies/pastries, pizza, and potato chips. It’s normal to eat comfort foods occasionally, or as a planned cheat meal if you are on a strict nutritional regiment or are trying to lose weight. However for an emotional eater, reaching for a comfort food isn’t voluntary it’s rather uncontrollable behavior. Usually an emotional eater has a very tough time saying no. Also most emotional eaters only become conscious of indulging in comfort foods after already consuming them.

After consuming comfort foods, an emotional eater might feel guilty and as a result be tempted to eat more in an attempt to numb negative emotions. On a logical level, an emotional eater knows that they need to stop doing it. However on a practical level, when an emotional eater experiences negative emotions they are tempted to indulge in consuming comfort foods to deal with those emotions. In a way an emotional eater is like an alcoholic who gets drunk to avoid stress or other problems they are experiencing in their lives. To clarify, I’m not judging emotional eaters, and I’m not trying to label them. I would guess that the majority of people have indulged in emotional eating at one point or another whether or not they realize it. I myself have to work on my own emotional eating tendencies, and realize how tough it can be. I would also guess that emotional eating is one of the reasons why the majority of Americans are overweight.

Consequences of Emotional Eating

Weight Gain - Emotional eaters tend to overeat and therefore add on extra body weight. Some emotional eaters are overweight. Others develop eating disorders in an attempt to avoid gaining weight, which introduces the next consequence.

Eating Disorders - In an attempt to combat weight gain, some emotional eaters develop eating disorders such as anorexia or bulimia. Some emotional eaters become addicted to exercise, and exercise for several hours at a time following a binge or an overeating episode to avoid future weight gain.

Light Depression - Usually an emotional eater feels really guilty about their overeating and occasional binges the next day. As a result an emotional eater will often promise themselves not to do it again, however sooner or later they do, and as a result feel helpless. Going through this cycle often leaves an emotional eating feeling a light depression that’s always clouding over their life.

Loneliness - Since an emotional eater can’t stop engaging in the habit, they often start thinking there must be something wrong with them. They tend to make emotional eating a secret, they don’t talk about it with others. They feel that they aren’t normal, that maybe they aren’t a disciplined enough person. An emotional eater usually has good friendships, even at times a significant other just like everyone else. Even if an emotional eater is very honest about their lives, they will often keep emotional eating a secret from all their friends, relatives and significant others since they are ashamed of it. This often leaves them feeling lonely and maybe not understood.

Lack of Progress in Life Goals - An emotional eater often indulges in food as a way to numb out bad emotions. As a result when they are working on life goals whether they are financial, career or relationship goals and encounter a roadblock they often consume comfort foods in an attempt to distract themselves from having to deal with the real problems. They of course don’t do this consciously, for many emotional eaters it’s an automatic response, just like how after a bad day at work an alcoholic might just stop by the bar instead of considering finding a different job.

There are many other consequences of emotional eating, however these are the most common and serious ones. I’ve experience this myself when dealing with emotional eating and as a result this is a bit of a difficult topic for me to write about. As I’m a writing this I’m remembering past emotional eating episodes and consequences and as a result feel a deep sympathy for other emotional eaters.

Payoffs of Emotional Eating

So if there are many tough consequences of emotional eating why would anyone engage in it? or why would they keep engaging in it after experiencing the consequences? Well there are payoffs of emotional eating, just like they are payoffs of being an alcoholic, or a drug addict.

Never Having to Face the Real Problems - Usually emotional eating is a cover up for emotional, and psychological issues a person needs to deal with. For example, a big issue for me was constantly seeking other’s validation and having a tough time saying no and establishing personal boundaries. As a result when a friend would invite me to go to a boring or uninteresting event, I would often go along for the ride. The next day I would be feeling a bit depressed and might indulge in eating comfort foods to numb out those bad emotions. If I would of paused and asked why am I depressed or feeling down, I would of probably discovered the real problem, and realized that I need to set firm personal boundaries. However in a way discovering the real problems is tough because it often requires one to take tough actions and make tough choices. In my case that meant having to end some friendships and start new ones from scratch.

An Easier More Passive Lifestyle - Never having to face the real problems allows an emotional eater to live a very passive relaxing and comfortable lifestyle. An emotional eater will often resort to food instead of having to say step out of their comfort zone. As a result an emotional eater can live life in a sort of daze where they are breathing, walking, and talking yet not really alive. For example, an emotional eater will never really experience fear, they will tend to consume comfort foods to numb it out. And after they are done consuming the food they will usually keep putting off that scary action or choice they know they should take care of.

Maintaining One’s Pride & Ego - Admitting that you might have an emotional eating problem requires lots of humility. Often times an emotional eater’s pride and ego will prefer keeping emotional eating a secret even if it means never seeking treatment, or having to face the issue.

Solutions That DON’T Work

In order to protect his/her pride, an emotional eater will usually rationalize that they don’t have an eating problem instead will try to treat the obvious consequences of overeating.

Better Eating Habits - Since an emotional eater will notice that they are gaining weight as a result of indulging in comfort foods, they assume they need to eat healthier foods. They will try to change their eating habits, and might be successful for short periods of times. However once they experience a negative emotional spike, any kind of sadness, fear, worry etc. they will usually go back to indulging in their comfort foods.

Exercising - Just like an emotional eater might try to improve their eating habits, they will also try to exercise regularly. They reason that they don’t have an eating problem and just added a few extra pounds that they need to loose. An emotional eater might be successful at dropping a few pounds with exercising. However once they experience any negative emotional spikes, they will usually go back to indulging in their comfort foods.

Steps to Dealing With Emotional Eating

1. Admitting and Accepting The Problem - There is nothing wrong with being an emotional eater. In fact it’s pretty common in our culture that we came up with the term comfort foods. Accept that emotional eating is something you need to deal with. None of us is perfect. Being an emotional eater doesn’t define you. So there is no need to feel guilty about it. Accepting that you have a problem is the first step to dealing with it.
2. There is No Magic Pill - I have to work on my emotional eating tendencies and believe me I’ve looked and tried every solution out there, and still haven’t found the magic pill. By magic pill I mean a solution that you can immediately implement that will take care of the problem once and for all. You will have to work on your emotional eating one day at a time.
3. Identify Triggers - You will need to identify what triggers your emotional eating.  This can slightly differ from one person to the next.  Start journaling about every emotional eating incident you experience.  Whenever you overeat, pause and think about the series of events or negative emotions that lead to it and make notes.  After doing this for a week or two you will get a good idea on what specifically triggers your emotional eating.  This step can be tough, especially if you feel really guilty after you overeat.  Forgive yourself, don’t judge your overeating, and just assess the situation from a logical perspective instead of an emotional one.  In a way you are acting like your own therapist.
4. Be Conscious of Your Emotional State - After you identify your triggers, you have to start being more aware of your emotional state at all times.  Occasionally start asking yourself how do I feel right now?  This will help you break down the automated response of resorting to food for dealing with tough emotions.
5. Accept Negative Emotions - If you are feeling down, accept that.  Realize that you will hopefully live a long life and there will be other times where you will feel a light depression.  Don’t try to fight it, accept it.  Once you accept it you can deal with it.
6. Ask Questions - Once you accept a negative emotional state you need to pause and ask the following questions.  Asking these questions will help you slow down instead of automatically resorting to food for comfort:
   • What lead to my current emotional state?  What sequence of events occured earlier?  Is there a stress or problem that’s causing this?
   • If I overeat right now, will this make that stress or problem go away?
   • If I overeat will I really feel better? or will I just be running away from a stress or problem that I’ll have to deal with eventually anyways?
   • What if I DON’T overeat? will I regreat making this decision later?
7. Act Anyway - No matter what kind of an emotional state you are in, you need to take the right actions.  This is a very common trait of successful people.  Read my post I don’t feel like it to learn more about this idea of right action.
8. See a Therapist - If after trying to deal with emotional eating on your own you aren’t seeing any progress see a therapist.  You should be able to find one who specializes in overeating and emotional eating issues.  However realize that seeing a therapist isn’t a magic pill, while a therapist might help, you will still have to put in the work.

I’ve found that emotional eating is the most common cause of weight gain.  Here is a great resource for emotional eating.  I highly recommend you check it out even if you don’t think you’re an emotional eater yet wonder why you haven’t been able to lose weight.

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I have been adjusting the theme/look of this blog since last night.  I’m sticking with the current look.  I still have to work out a few issues, and add in some of the features of the old theme.  Let me know what you think of the new look by leaving a comment, and certainly let me know if anything isn’t working, thanks.

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You know you need to finish some errands yet you don’t feel like it, so you decide you’ll just do them tomorrow. You know you should go to the gym in order to stay in line with your fitness goals, yet you don’t feel like it, so you decide to skip your workout and watch TV instead. You have some free time and you know you should work on that new business idea you had the other day, yet you are tired and don’t feel like it, so you go to bed early instead. You are out at a social event and you see a very attractive member of the opposite sex that you wish to meet, yet you feel scared to walk over and say hi, so you just talk yourself out of doing it by assuming it would be awkward and socially unacceptable. You are at a fast food restaurant and you know you should order a healthy salad, yet you are sick of eating healthy food, so you rationalize that you deserve a cheat meal and order a cheeseburger instead. You are sick of your current job and know you should start applying elsewhere, yet you don’t feel like going through the interviewing process, it will be too much work, so you decide to put it off until next month and you rationalize that would be better timing anyways.

I don’t feel like it. It’s scary, I don’t want to do it. I’m too tired, I’ll just do it tomorrow. I deserve a break, I’ve been working too hard, besides I can always take care of this later. We all experience the “I don’t feel like it” syndrome for one reason or the other. Sometimes the reason is very legitimate, you could of had a long day, a few hours of sleep the night before, and are really exhausted and therefore feel like relaxing or going to bed early instead of taking care of those errands you had on your to-do list. Other times you simply are in a lazy state of mind, and don’t feel like doing anything, and therefore decide you deserve a break and you watch tv or uselessly surf the web for an hour or two.

I don’t feel like it. I have a confession to make, I don’t really feel like writing this post. It’s the weekend, I’ve had a pretty hectic/busy week, and I would rather just relax today. I need to clarify, I really like blogging and writing, and whenever I start writing I enter into a flow zone where I get absorbed into it, and the words just flow out, it’s a great feeling However there are times where I simply feel lazy, tired or too out of it to start writing. During such times I can usually come up with great reasons/rationalizations for why I shouldn’t write. Here is one, “writing is my hobby, it should not feel like a job, I should just put it off until I really feel like it”. There is some truth to this reasoning, so lets say I putt off writing, and don’t feel like it the next day, and the day after that etc. Would I just shut down this blog, and move on to the next thing?

I think you are getting my point here, on certain occasions if we are over-worked, exhausted, doing way too much etc. we legitimately need to take a break, however more often than not we get lazy and just don’t feel like doing whatever it is we know we have to do. We make commitments to take on this or that new habit, and we know the work involved, yet when it’s time to do it we simply don’t feel like it.

So what’s the solution. Naturally one would ask well how can I get myself to feel like exercising, writing, or doing my errands. There are several answers, one can look for motivational sources, readings etc. One can get a workout buddy, an accountability buddy etc. One can make a public commitment, for example I can commit to writing a new post everyday on this blog for the next 30 days. However none of these solutions are complete. While they are all great ideas, and would make you feel more pressure to get things done, there is still something missing. Lets say you do get a workout buddy, you might feel motivated to work out with your buddy for the first 2 weeks. However on the 3rd week your buddy is out of town on a business trip. Additionally you get a mild cold, and while physically you can do a light workout, you don’t feel like it, besides being sick is a legitimate reason to skip working out and your buddy would understand when he gets back. So you skip working out for the next couple of days. On the 3rd day you feel fine, however you don’t feel like working out and you rationalize I should rest one more day just to make sure the cold is fully gone and out of my body. You use this same reasoning to skip working out for the rest of the week. All of a sudden you realize you just skipped a whole week without going to the gym.

Of course one can get multiple workout partners to avoid this situation, however life will always throw circumstances at you, and there will be times where you just feel lazy and will come up with great reasons to relax and put off tasks. So what’s the solution, if you can’t really get red of “I don’t feel like it” syndrome, how can you live with it, how can you manage it? What about very successful entrepreneurs that work 10-14 hour days for months or even years to get a business of the ground? How do they do it? What about Olympic athletes that train for several hours a day for months to get in top shape, how do they do it?

Very successful people, who live amazing lives, and leave a legacy tend to usually do the right thing whether or not they feel like it. This in a way is like a muscle that they grow and strengthen. You can start developing this great habit today by following these steps:

1. When you know you should do something and don’t feel like it, accept this and realize that everyone goes through it. Don’t be hard on yourself.
2. From today decide that you will just do the right thing, and do whatever it is you have to do whether or not you fee like it.
3. Realize that there will still be times where you will get lazy, or not do the right thing. That’s okay, you are building a new habit, this is expected. Don’t be a perfectionist, you simply can’t always do the right thing 100% of the time. Accept this. Your goal should be to do right more often as time goes on. Think of this as a muscle you are developing in the gym. If you currently do the right actions 5% of the time, and can increase that to 10% in the next year, then you would double your results, progress, and success.
4. When you have a long tedious task in front of you, don’t stress about it. Just start doing it and stay in the present moment. Don’t think about the 2, 3 or 4 more hours you have to keep doing this for, instead think about what you are doing at this moment. Say you have to wash 50 dishes, when you grab that first dish, just focus on your hand, the circular motions it’s taking to wash that dish, the feeling of the water and the smell of the soap. Don’t think about the other 49 dishes, stay in the moment instead of worrying about the future. This is a great method I learned from Alan Watts. Another way to slow down and enjoy the moment is by monitoring your breathing.
5. Make whatever you are doing fun. This is another method that I learned from Alan Watts. Try singing, or humming as you are washing the dishes. Make up a new rhyme about the soapy dopey dishes
6. Realize that doing the right thing no matter how you feel becomes easier the more you do it. Lets say you don’t feel like going to the gym and you do it anyway. The next day you don’t feel like it, it will be easier for you to ignore the emotion and go.

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Me and a friend went to a night club here in Chicago last night. There was a line when we got there, so I approached the doorman, indicated that I was on the list (I did rsvp earlier) and was about to pull out my id. He said they are only letting in girls and couples at this time, and that they will let in the single guys in a few minute. Now as a side note this isn’t a common occurrence in Chicago, there are probably only a handful of clubs that would do this kind of thing. I mean let’s face it it’s the Midwest not Manhattan or Hollywood. So me and my friend waited in line for 5 minutes or so, nothing is happening so we come up with plan B. Walk over to a nearby bar, try to find 2 friendly girls who would be willing to couple up with us and get us in. We figured the girls would have fun too since it’s a great night club, and they wouldn’t have to pay cover since I’m on the list. We walk into a bar right around the corner, and luckily see 2 cute single girls, engage them in conversation, propose our plan and they agree. Holding hands with our new temporary girlfriends we walk right back up to the doorman. I take out my id, and then the doorman points out that my friend needs a collared shirt to get in, even though he had a pretty stylish Armani Exchange shirt on - I only walked into that store once and walked right back out after seeing the prices Anyway, we try to talk our way out of it, no go. So we had to ditch the girls to go and grab a collared shirt my friend had in his car. Girls wanted to go into the clubs at this point, and I don’t blame them it was a bit cool outside. We grab my friends shit, he puts it on, we come right back up to the doorman. This time he’s giving us a tough time about cutting in front of the other people in line, and tells us to wait back. We wait as they are finally letting guys in, and when we come up to him we ask him what happened to the girls that were with us. He says “They…” pauses for 30 seconds “didn’t want to pay the 20 dollar cover so they left”. I had 2 flags going on in my head immediately, first off if he paused that long in the middle of the answer, he’s probably lying. Secondly, girls weren’t being charged full cover that night ($20) they usually let them in for free. Whatever I figured maybe he is trying to be a douche bag but I’m not letting it ruin my night. We get past the doorman, promoter girl with list asks for my last name, I provide it, and she says she can’t find it on the list. I try to talk my way out of this one, still no go. So me and my friend walk off and decide to go to a different club.

For those interested in visiting Chicago, occurrences like these are pretty rare. People in Chicago are generally a mix of city folk with a friendly Midwestern attitude, which is one of the reasons I enjoy living here. So why am I sharing this story? It’s a great example of how at times no matter how positive, friendly, and optimistic you try to be, there will be difficult people that try to mess with your reality. Of course at the first sign of this you can always end the interaction, and walk away. Me and my friend could have certainly walked away right after we initially got there and noticed there was a line and a rude doorman. Why didn’t I? Well for one that’s the easy thing to do, it’s safe and secure. However one aspect of developing a strong reality is sticking to it when it’s challenged. My reality was that I’m getting into this club tonight and I’m going to have a good time. Of course while I try to have a strong reality and stick to it, I don’t identify with it. What do I mean? Some people if they were forced into this situation would walk off feeling down, angry at the doorman etc. They would simply take it personal. For some people such a small misunderstanding (or set of misunderstandings) can ruin their whole night. Why let it? Well if they identify with their reality and take things personally, they can’t help it. One idea that I’ve been trying to live out lately is that life is just a stage, and we are all playing different roles at different times.

Is that doorman always a mean difficult person? Maybe he is, maybe he isn’t, I don’t know, but what I do know is that If I was to run into him out at a bar when he’s no longer playing doorman role and is instead out with his buddies having a drink, I could probably strike up a very friendly fun conversation with him. Simply because he would be out trying to have a good time and that would be his reality or his stage role in that situation. Life is a stage and we are all playing different roles at different times. I mean let’s face it, standing outside in cool weather, being a doorman, having to let everyone into the party without being able to join in isn’t that much fun. Does that justify the doorman’s rudeness? Probably not, but who cares who’s right or wrong. Remember everyone is playing a role on life’s stage, it’s not about who’s right or wrong, it’s about who’s having the most fun playing their role. My role for the night (or reality) was going out and having a good time, that’s why I can walk off from that situation and while I’m tempted to get pissed off I can pause, take a few deep breaths, and then go on enjoying the rest of my night.

What’s your role on life’s stage? What’s your reality? Do you let negative difficult people in so that they will mess with you? You probably have several different roles depending on the situation. One might be a professional at work, another could be a great spouse (or a great significant other) with the love of your life, another could be a fun corky friend when you’re out with your buddies, another could be a very analytical logical person when you need to do some math problems, etc. Do any of those roles define you? No. There is no reason whatsoever to attach any of those roles to your ego or your emotional state. Remember your life is a stage play and you are the star.

What’s the advantage of seeing life as a stage and people playing roles?

1. Developing a Stronger Better Reality - When you realize that everyone is playing a role, you no longer have to take everything seriously and personally. Of course you still need constructive feedback from others, especially close friends and relatives that really know you, at the same time though you process it in a logical manner. If a friend for example recommends that you take care of your hygiene a bit more, instead of feeling a spike of negative emotions and an ego kick, you realize that they are trying to be a good friend and give you advice. You can logically decide to agree or discard their advice without any negative emotional baggage. This not only helps you develop and maintain a strong reality, but also helps you welcome constructive feedback, and therefore strengthen and even improve your reality.

2. Higher Quality Relationships - when you realize that everyone is playing a role you no longer feel the need to judge them. For example when you boss is trying to micromanage you at work or is giving you tough time you realize that he’s just trying to play the hard working manager role to the best of his knowledge and abilities. You no longer need to judge your boss negatively or have hidden anger towards him. Does that justify working with a boss you dislike? No. If you really dislike your boss that much then maybe you should start looking for another job with a better manager. The stage roles mentality will help you maintain a healthy relationship with you current boss until you find another job and leave. This way you will not have to burn any bridges and might even be able to use him as a reference if needed.

3. More Opportunities - Often times, our ego, our pride, or various negative emotions that we experience get in the way of many potential opportunities. Let’s say Johnny is out one night, and he is introduced to Claire, he’s attracted to her, yet she ends up rejecting him. Now Johnny could take this personal, feel an ego kick and even start thinking that maybe there is something wrong with him as a guy. He might think maybe he’s not good looking enough, not rich enough not smooth enough, not fun enough and as a result avoids approaching or trying to ask out other cool girls he encounters in his day to day life. If Johnny just realizes that Claire is just playing a role, and the rejection isn’t even about him he’d be much better off. Who says Claire didn’t like him? Maybe she did however she just got out of a long relationship where her ex cheated on her and was just playing the “I don’t trust guys at this moment” role when Johnny ran into her. If Johnny was to realize this, he wouldn’t take rejections personally, and even though he might feel a negative emotional spike when he encounters a rejection, it wouldn’t stop him from approaching other attractive girls in the future.

There are many other advantages that you will experience once you start implementing this mindset. To sum it up you will notice that you are happier, more satisfied, and content with your current life situation.

Warning - While stage roles is a healthy mentality for the most part, it can be dangerous if you don’t have clear personal boundaries. You have to establish and maintain healthy limits in your life. You have to draw clear lines of what actions from others are unacceptable. For example if there is tension between you and your boss that you have tried to resolve several times without any progress, then yes you do need to start looking for another job. However there is no need to create stress by constantly thinking that you have a mean abusive jerk of a boss. You can decide that the job isn’t a good fit without having to judge your boss or other coworkers. Remember they are just playing roles on life’s stage, I’m sure if you would of met your boss under different circumstances you might have formed a totally different opinion of him. Regardless you still need to abide by your personal values and boundaries.

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Instant gratification, we all fall for it it’s when:

• we eat that greasy fatty junk food, that tastes oh so good in our mouth yet is bad for our health, energy levels, productivity, and our weight loss plan
• we skip doing a chore like going to the gym, buying groceries, cleaning the house and instead watch useless mind numbing tv
• we get red of our hobbies, and forget about our dreams just because they require too much work, time and effort
• we overspend, buy stuff we don’t need, and maybe even get in debt instead of investing and saving our money
• we are always looking for the magic pill, whether it’s to lose 30 pounds in 30 days without getting off the couch or becoming the next millionaire by following the newest get rich quick scheme

We all know instant gratification doesn’t work, it’s a rip off.  We eat the junk food, and while it tastes amazing, afterwards we feel too full, dehydrated, sleepy, lazy, and want to take a nap.  We skip our chores, watch some tv, and afterwards realize that we just wasted our a block of really valuable time.  We give up on our dreams, and discard our hobbies and live like zombies doing the least we have to do to get by.  We go on shopping sprees, buy things we don’t need and know we can’t afford and eventually encounter financial problems and might even get in debt.  We want to lose weight without putting in the effort so we order that magic diet pill and are disappointed when it doesn’t work.  We want to become millionaires without putting in the hard work and the long hours so we order that new get rich quick program yet are disappointed later when we find out it’s either a rip off or is a lot tougher and requires more effort than we initially thought.

Instant gratification is a paradox.  It’s a lie, however it’s one that we keep buying into.  Marketers know this, that’s why advertising works.  Does that mean advertising is evil? No, it’s what you make of it.  If it wasn’t for advertising and marketing you might have never found out about the last great book you read, movie you watched, or product you bought.  A great example of this is the 4 hour work week.  It’s a great book, yet it takes a lot of work to setup a business that only requires 4 hours of your time to manage per week.  It took the author himself over a year just to get his business to make him good profits, and another year to automate it.  It’s also important to point out that this wasn’t his first business idea, he’s certainly tried and failed plenty of times in the past.  While the 4 hour work week is a great book, and is becoming more and more popular, how many people do you think will end up creating their own 4 hour work week?  how many people are willing to put in 2 years or more of hard work into setting such a business up?  how many people are willing to try and fail with different business ideas until they find the right one?  I’d like to be optimistic and say many, yet in reality it’s very few.

Can you wake up one day and just eliminate all of the temptation of indulging in instant gratification? No.  Besides you wouldn’t want to go to the other extreme of always thinking long term.  While thinking long term is a healthy habit, it can certainly distract you from enjoying the moment and making the best of your current life situation.  Besides many people get too hung up on long term thinking that they live their whole lives to create a better future, yet that future never comes, how could it when they are always busy creating it and can never stop to enjoy their present?

How to deal with instant gratification?

Step 1: Start looking at your choices and actions and see if they are motivated by instant gratifcation.  Take some time right now and write down at least 3 choices/actions in your day to day life that are an attempt to indulge in instant gratification.  Don’t judge those choices, and don’t be hard on yourself.

Step 2: In the next 7 days become conscious of when you make those choices and take those actions and how you feel afterwards.   Start becoming more conscious of how instant gratification is a paradox, it doesn’t really exist. 

Step 3: After a week of conciousness, start taking small steps to decrease the frequecy of those 3 choices/actions or even to eliminate them if possible.  For example if you chose to watch tv regularly, try to watch less tv, eliminate one of the shows you watch etc.  If your eating a lot of junk food try to incorporate one healthy meal into your diet each day.  If you are living from paycheck to paycheck try to go shopping less often and mostly buy necessaties instead of luxuries.  There isn’t an easy way to do this, it’s just a matter of knowing that you need to do the right thing and doing it anyway whether or not you feel like it.  Of course after making the right choices for a while, they become habits that are easier to maintain.

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