From a young age we are shaped and molded by our parents, relatives, friends, society and the media into a certain image. Of course most of the time your parents want the best for you. So do your relatives and your friends. However it’s important to point out that what’s best for you is a very subjective matter, and in many cases depends on the source of advice. For example, your parents might think that it’s best for you to go to a 4 year college and get a degree. However that could be a waste of time especially if you have an entrepreneurial spirit, and already have a few business ideas/plans you would like to try out.

Think about what defines you. Is it your style of clothing? your career? your relationships? your ideas/views/opinions on things? Did you really pick your style of clothing? Most often advertising, the media and celebrities tell us what to wear, and we don’t dare to object. A quick example is how baggy clothing became very popular among young men with the rise in popularity of hip-hop and rap music. A lot of them dress/talk/act/think like gangsters. Very interesting. What about your career? I remember taking one of those personality tests in high school which recommended a few career paths for me. I remember this heavily influencing the major I chose in college. While I think such tests can be useful, at the same time they can be very limiting. Each one of us has a unique background and set of experiences, who says a standardized test will work for every single one of us? What about your relationships? do you actively choose your friends? For most of us, unless we are naturally social butterflies, more often we settle for those who are willing to be our friends. And we tend to stick with them for a long time. What about improving your social skills, meeting lots of new people regularly and having the opportunity to pick and chose your friends? What about your ideas/views/opinions? are they truly your own? or are they ones that were made popular by society and your surroundings?

I hope at this point you are starting to realize that maybe you have been living a life that’s not truly of your own choosing. So how do you find the real you? Plain and simple, you find the real you through first hand experience. You simply have to regularly get out of your comfort zone and try new activities, travel, take on new hobbies, meet new people, learn new skills etc. First hand experience will help you find the real you, since most of who you currently think you are is usually based on second hand experience or advice.

I tend to go through periods where I don’t feel motivated to do anything. Such a period can last an afternoon, a whole day or two, even a week or a month. Such periods tend to arise especially as I’m trying to implement a new habit, whether it’s working out regularly, eating healthier, watching less TV, attending more social events, traveling more often etc.

Some people swear by motivation, they say that motivation is everything. I even remember reading editorials about success models such as Tiger Woods, Oprah, or Donald Trump which indicated that all of them were highly motivated from a young age. Is there truth to these editorials? Are some people motivated 24/7 while others including me and maybe you go through periods of motivation starvation?

To dive into this more, I started reflecting on very productive periods of my life. One such period is my college years where I had a full time schedule, worked 25-35 hours a week, had an active social life and still maintained good grades. Interestingly those years were also when I dropped about 50 pounds and achieved the best shape in my life up to that point. Diving more into the day to day emotions, I remember I wasn’t always motivated. There were many days where I didn’t get an ideal amount of sleep, skipped a workout, rushed through writing a school paper etc. I was a lot more worried about getting things done, and keeping up with all of my commitments than about motivation. The thought of “do I feel like doing this or that” never even occurred to me. Whether I had to study for a test, wake up a 6am to exercise before going to class, or go to a long tedious night class after 8 hours of work, I never questioned my feelings; I just did it, plain and simple.

This is sort of an interesting realization for me. Because to be honest, I have been slacking lately. For one I haven’t been posting on here as often or as regularly as I’d like. I’ll skip making the good excuses, life is always full of circumstances, and who wants to hear another excuse, we are all sick of them. I noticed that “I don’t feel like it” or “this is scary” has been a good enough reason for me lately to avoid doing something. I guess I should also point out that this reasoning process isn’t always conscious. Here is how it works. I know I’m supposed to go work out, yet I don’t feel like it, so unconsciously my brain will come up with all kinds of good reasons and excuses for why I should skip my workout. This is usually pretty quick and unconscious. Does your brain ever do that? Think about it.

So what was the secret to my success in my college years? Was it an abundance of motivation and drive? Not really, that might have had to do with it a bit however, if anything that’s probably 10%. The other 90% is just doing it, getting out there and doing what I had to do whether or not I felt like it.

There is a common pitfall we tend to encounter, and that is the lack of perfection that leads to guilt. Say I plan to work out 5 times a week. And I skip working out 3 days in a row, throwing off my schedule and therefore falling short of accomplishing the goal. On the 4th day I might feel really guilty about this broken promise, I might even feel disappointed at myself and decide to just give up. I might think working out is just not for me, and that I’m a slacker etc. This sounds stupid as I write it down or maybe as you read it, however we do it all the times. We make the mistake of thinking that those who are successful always follow the perfect path to success without once making a mistake or encountering a setback How dumb is that? Even personal trainers and athletes at times skip workouts because of circumstances or plain laziness. Perfection is an ideal it doesn’t exist in reality. What defines a successful person is how they act in those tough times where things aren’t going as well as they should be.

So do we need motivation? Well motivation is nice, if you find motivational readings, resources etc. great, however you don’t need it. All you need is a “just do it” attitude. You also have to realize that perfectionism is just an idea, it’s not real, just do your best.

When a resolute young fellow steps up to the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Funny how two people can look at a problem, an issue or a struggle, and one will feel helpless, while the other will see an opportunity for greatness. Think about it, we all live in the same world, and are born with mostly similar circumstances, yet a few become great, while the majority remain average. How come? Well a lot of it as to do with perspective, it’s as if everyone is looking at the same world through a different lens. Some see a corrupted, unfair, biased, dark, gloomy world without much hope so their basic instinct is just to survive, do the least they have to do to get by. A few others see a colorful, bright, glamorous, and enticing world full of bounties and treasure for the taking.

It’s easy to have a very pessemestic dark view of the world, it’s easy to feel helpless and weak because then you can just be lazy and do enough to get by. I remember when I was younger, I liked playing sports, yet I never tried out once for my high school’s sport teams. I was overweight, and thought that no matter how hard I tried, a coach would never take me on to the team since there is a bias or discrimination against my body shape. This was the easy way out, as a result, I never had to feel guilty or lazy for not going to sport team tryouts. Instead I got to sit home, watch tv and play video games, a very safe lifestyle. I was basically blind to the fact that maybe my weight was starting to be a problem and that I need to implement a healthier more active lifestyle.

As I grew older and started getting into personal development and self help I started seeing a new world, one full of opportunities for the taking. We are living in really exciting times, here are just a few of the luxuries that we take for granted in today’s world. Affordable world travel, how awesome is it that you can travel to any country in the world, try out their food, hang out with its people, and visit its best landmarks. Technology boom - how great is it that you can just google any topic, issue, or even health problem, and learn everything about it without having to leave your home or see a professional. Information age - this is a result of the technology boom, the availability of information, resources, and expert advice for free or very little money. Anyone can learn any topic their heart desires. The world is yours for the taking.

A world full of opportunity requires a lot of courage. Courage simply is doing the right thing. Courage is when you are feeling really lazy and tired and still decide to get your work done. Courage is when you haven’t slept good the night before, and it’s cold outside, and you really just feel like staying in, yet you still go to the gym and workout because you made a fitness commitment. Courage is when you have tried several business ideas and ventures without any success yet instead of giving up you hang in there knowing that you are getting closer and closer to success. Courage is when you get out of your comfort zone maybe to learn a new skill or try a new fun activity without worrying too much about looking like a fool.

When a resolute young fellow steps up to the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Remember the world is yours for the taking, so what’s stopping you? For most of us we might experience many roadblocks to success and self defeating tendencies. Whether it’s fear or insecurities or caring what others think, we end up becoming our own worst enemies. This is where desire without attachment to outcome sets you free. Sometime we become so attached to our future goals and desires, that we forget to enjoy and accept the present for what it is. It is possible to build an empire while still enjoying your present life to the fullest. Do you accept your current condition for what it is or are you always whining and complaining? What lens are you looking at the world from? Are you seeing a world full of unfairness, corruption and destruction or one full of opportunities, treasures, and gifts for the taking? Do you chose laziness, an easy lifestyle and a comfortable average living? Or are you willing to step up, live courageously and take whats yours? Remember the world is yours for the taking.

Chicago Skyline At Night - source: Bala

I’ve always been fascinated with skyscrapers. It’s one of the reasons I appreciate living near Chicago’s beautiful skyline. Every time I get a glimpse at the skyline or a skyscraper I usually pause and indulge in the eye candy. What really fascinates me about skyscrapers or a city’s skyline is all the work, effort, technology, time, resources, security and testing measures that go into their construction process. The office of my last employer was located in the top floor of a skyscraper. I remember when I’d arrive in the morning, taking a look out the glass wall, and seeing Chicago’s skyline always got my juices flowing. I remember a lot of my limiting beliefs and discouragements would be quickly shattered with the affirmation that human beings are capable of erecting such beautiful skyscrapers creating a magnificent skyline.

Some images for your viewing pleasures or in case you don’t live in a big city with a skyline, click any image to zoom in…

Hong Kong Skyline - source:huipiiing

Singapore Skyline - source:jo.in.pink

source: jalex

I’m building my empire. No I’m not talking about a business empire like the Fords, Hiltons or the Trumps. No disrespect, one can learn all sorts of things from them. I’m talking about a new kind of empire. One built on freedom, responsibility, craziness, randomness, and hard work. My empire will look like no other. My empire isn’t about the money or the wealth, those come and go. My empire is about what I truly love in life. My empire will consist of living in some of the world best cities including Vegas, LA, NYC and Cancun. My empire will shatter through the social bounds, it will consist of awesome friendships, connections, and lovers. My empire will shatter through limiting beliefs, who says you can’t be a computer geek, a club head, a dancer, a romantic, a player, a good guy, a bad guy, a stage performer, a skydiver, a writer, and a world traveler? Those are just a few of my passions/hobbies or whatever you want to call them, they are all different identities mixed together and poof you have me.

My empire isn’t based on perfection, or always being right. I’m just another average Joe, while I have many dreams and ambitions, I also have bad habits, self defeating tendencies that I gotta work on like everyone else. Rather, my empire is based on persistence, perseverance, pushing through failure and setbacks. The defining moments of my empire aren’t so much the successes or the wins. I’m grateful for those. However what really defines my empire are those really tough times, when everything is going south, lots of failure, disappoint, pain, hurt, even light depression. What my empire thrives on is pushing through those tough defining moments.

My empire isn’t based on ego or self glorification. Like why am I writing this? It’s for my own encouragement and motivation, do I really care if anyone reads it or judges it? It would be nice if others read it and get something out of it, but overall I don’t really care much. Not to say that I don’t appreciate feedback, I really do, I love getting comments on my posts, however this post is a little different. These words I’m using are so real to me. I’m not just day dreaming, this vision of an empire is already part of my reality. I’m sharing this in hopes that it will inspire you to build your own empire. Whether you think this is the coolest thing ever since the rainbow colored skittles came out or simply retarded, that’s up to you, it’s none of my business.

My empire isn’t a totally futuristic one. My empire is also in the present. It’s is here and now. While I might not move to Vegas tomorrow, I did visit it last month, and it was a great time. I’m planning on doing a lot of traveling in the next couple of years. While I’m not the hottest home skillet to hit the social scene I still go out and get to meet lots of new cool people, have made many awesome friends, and will continue growing my social skills. A big part of my empire is being happy in the present moment and accepting everything the way it is. Desire without attachment to outcome. Lets face it, there are no guarantees, this moment, day, week, month or year could be my last. Some use this line of thinking to justify living a very careless, destructive, dangerous lifestyle. While that can be fun, it’s not what I’m going after. See I’ve tried that lifestyle, while it was fun at first, it was almost like getting a high off drugs, feels great, but always ends in a crash, a bad hang over. I’ve realized one of my biggest personal values is working hard, and therefore I wouldn’t have any regrets if I was to die working 10, 12, 14, or 16 hour days. Believe me, I still cherish and make the best of my free time.

For me a person’s life is this random shaped rock they are born with that they get to shape and sculpt however they please. Many times it will feel very tough, imagine trying to sculpt and shape a rock with your bare fingers, using only your fingernails. Other times it will be like a piece of cake, like when all of the right circumstances line up, and you got all the right tools to sculpt and shape that rock. Regardless of the circumstances, what matters is your perseverance and persistence. It’s funny how overrated talent is in our culture. When people see a person who’s considered a genius at what they do, they are amazed and might even feel a little jealous. Fortunately I’ve had the chance to interact with such talented people in the past, and get to know the real them. I found out that while their talent is nice, like everyone else they have to work hard with a lot of determination to achieve any kind of success. Additionally I found out that most of the time people wrongly label success as natural talent so that they don’t feel bad about being lazy or mindlessly cruising through life. I’m not trying to judge, I’m guilty of this myself.

Do you dare to build an empire? Maybe try closing your eyes, take a few moments, and picture your empire. It’s good to have futuristic goals and be ambitions however it’s also important to live in the present. Think of small actions steps you can take today or even now to start making your empire a reality. Dream big, be overly ambitious, it’s your reality, you are the pilot, and everyone else is a passenger.