You Think Making More Money or Losing Weight equals happiness? Think Again
November 22nd, 2007 by Andrew BolisBefore I get to losing weight or making more money I must first discuss blinds spots. A blind spot is usually a limiting belief, an excuse or a line of reasoning that’s ingrained deeply into a person’s belief system. As you might assume, since it’s a “blind” spot, usually the person isn’t conscious of it’s existence.
While each person has a unique set of blind spots, there are still many common ones. A very common one that I’ve discovered and started working on myself is associating happiness with a higher income. Many people have this blind spot. A really easy and quick way to destroy this blind spot was for me to simply start spending more time with wealthier individuals. I found out quickly that they aren’t any happier with their lives than your average Joe. It goes back to that saying “once you own something it loses it’s value”. I think there is so much truth to that saying. The saying obviously applies to materialistic wealth including a nice house, a blazing fast sports car, and even stylish clothing. Usually a new toy or gadget looks nice and shiny in the store, however after you have it for a little while, it becomes just another possession. So how does one go about creating a happier life? Well one factor is lifestyle improvement. If your life experience isn’t improving, whether your financially rich or poor, you will quickly start getting bored. Life will seem very routine like and mundane. You will not be very excited about a new day when you wake up in the morning. Lifestyle improvement means different things to different people, for some it might mean traveling more, interacting with different kinds of people, or doing new exciting activities. For others it might mean getting out of their comfort zone. It’s easy to see how associating financial wealth with happiness can be an excuse to avoid building a happier lifestyle starting today. A lot of people, myself included, make the mistake of focusing all their energy on building a financially successful future and never stop to enjoy the present. Focusing all your energy on the future leaves you blind to your level of life satisfaction in the present, in other words it’s a blind spot. Sometimes when a person achieves financial success they realize that on the inside they still feel the same, they are still the same person just have more money now. There is a great book titled “The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy People: What Scientists Have Learned and How You Can Use It“, it’s a short quick read full of ways to build and develop a happier life starting today. I highly recommend it.
Another common blind spot that I’ve also had to work on is associating weight loss or having a great body shape with happiness. I realized this was a blind spot when I started spending more time with very fitness conscious individuals. I found out that even being in great body shape comes with it’s own set of problems. This is especially true for those with exceptional body shape. One of my friends really takes care of himself and is in great shape. When I started hanging out with him more, I realized that most strangers make all kinds of negative assumptions about him. They usually assume he’s conceited, or a jerk, or a player and the list goes on. Many women even feel self conscious around him, and become very insecure about their looks. This is very obvious because often times those same strangers will act friendlier towards me. I used to think that losing a few pounds or being in exception body shape will make me happy, and solve all my problems. Since this was always a futuristic goal, it left me blind to my unhappy present at the time. Now I realize that happiness is only possible in the present moment. I also realize that happiness has nothing to do with being in a great body shape or any other other external factors.
Does this mean you should not try to achieve financial wealth or a great body shape? Absolutely NOT. Making more money or being in a great body shape will certainly increase the quality of your life. It will certainly give you more options and possibilities. However don’t make the mistake of thinking that either one or even both will solve most of your problems. Even if a genie was to pop out right now and give you both instantly, you’ll still be the same person on the inside. You must start developing an exciting happy lifestyle today. Of course work on future goals but at the same time make sure your enjoying the present moment.
November 23rd, 2007 at 9:30 pm
i wholly agree. happiness is a state of mind!
November 29th, 2007 at 12:34 pm
I couldn’t agree more.
January 9th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
[…] Consistency and hard work are two of the least discussed methods for success these days. Much of today’s marketing and advertising is about selling a magic pill, a secret formula, or a newly discovered shortcut that will transform your life within a few minutes hours or days and poof you’ll reach your goal and live happily every after. Whether a company is trying to sell a weight loss product or a home-business starter kit, they are usually promising extreme success very quickly. Advertisers will also associate that extreme success with happiness and fulfillment. They will show how happy Stacy looks after she just lost 20 pounds. They wont bring up how many of her older friends are now a bit jealous of Stacy getting all the attention and prefer not to go out with her to social events. They will not tell you about how Stacy dislikes getting constantly accused by many of her relatives and friends of being way too skinny, or overhearing rumors about herself having an eating disorder. Here is a related article if you are not convinced: You Think Making Money or Losing Weight Equals Happiness? Think Again […]
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May 18th, 2008 at 4:17 am
I love this sentiment relevant to this article: Instead of waiting to be thin to be happy, try being happy right now. Live as if you were already thin, as if you liked yourself, as if you chose to have the life you have right now.
http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/health/emotional/limits-of-thin
Dieting since I was 13yo and diagnosed with bipolar depression, I carry fat mostly on boobs & stomach, but my butt, legs and arms are slender. 1 aunt commented on how I had the reverse of a womans ideal shape of small boobs and curvy behind. As a teenager then, I took that to heart and still dwell on it sometimes. No matter how much I exercised, my butt never got curvier and my boobs hardly shrunk. What made the whole thing even stranger was my boyfriend at the time, didn’t think I was fat at all, he couldn’t understand why I was obsessed with only protein foods, cutting carbs - that just added to my conflict.
I had an epiphany later, I realised I only wanted to lose weight to make her happy, but then I thought “Wait a minute, supposing she finds something else to criticize and why does her approval mean so much to me, I don’t even like her”. Aha! There I said it - I want to impress someone who I don’t consider to be a friend and dread socialising with. I’ve since severed contact with her. Horrible when those people are your own family members, maybe she thought that it was harmless enough. I feel so happy now , no anxiety probs - attend a dance class twice a week and receive compliments on dancing ability.
Acquiring wealth - everyone wants to keep up with the Joneses, buy a bigger house, new car etc to show off.
I find it beneficial to cut off who you perceive to be ‘bad karma’ - negative, judgemental criticism of exterior or cause to want ’status’ items which I might not even use. Keep good company which is infectious and contagious.
August 24th, 2008 at 8:29 pm
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